Now that it’s almost summer (it doesn’t “officially” start until June 21), I feel compelled to take a break from talking about Thrill and focus on the #1 threat to America: BEARS.
Last night I was watching the Discovery Channel or Animal Planet or something, and it was a show about bears. Did you know they can run like 35 mph?? Holy crap! Campers beware.
So now you know that running away from an angry bear ain’t gonna save your hide unless that bear’s wearing a Superbowl ring and likes to be called The Fridge. You’ll have far better luck chucking cans of Milwaukee’s Best and screaming like a soccer mom at a PTA meeting.
That’s all. Good luck not getting mauled by Yogi & Boo Boo.
